Stand Still Until The Next Round

"everything is different, the second time around." - so they say but I reckon not.

Contemplate all you want. Consider a strategic approach and then a blunt, honest one. Retreat all together. Think of all the roads, think of their crossings.. Its a zero sum game, it always is a zero sum game. You've already lost. 

Taking steps is easy, standing still is hard. 

Once you try to take a step forward and hit a wall, there is no coming back from this. So, you really need to calculate the risk. Are you willing to come back to the fur shop and accept mortifying defeat or would you like to gracefully shut up about it? Let's be honest, if you have to force it, its probably shit. No clever move of yours can compare to an authentic moment. 

Don't waste overtime on an already failed initiative. It's a shameful waste of your labor. Accept the failure then take another good look from outside. This time, you should be able see whats broken. Either find another use for it or chuck it out the window.  

Alternatively, you can adjust your perspective on things. When life gives you lemons, you can sit around wondering why or you can accept the fact that you just need to idle around until the next round. Its like in a card game, you're dealt with a shitty hand and you know for a fact that you can't win this one. Are you going to be a soar loser or play the hand as well as you can to minimise your loss? So, shut up about it and make lemonade. 

Press For Champagne Moment

Oh.my.goodness.

It's a fabulous thing  to press a button and a bellman materializes before you with a silver tray of crisp, cold, fizzy champagne. We need more instant pleasures in life; more of one-hour vacations, treats. 

Fundamentals. You've gotta get them right.

We'd best compartmentalise  our lives into moments. In the spirit of the moment, we sometimes let go too easily and sometimes hold on rather too tightly. While making the choices and paying the price one should always bare in mind that the moment will not last forever. Have utmost caution when handling moments; their meanings tend be exaggerated. Compartmentalise your moments, and yet again, you'll see your perspective changing. 

When you appreciate the moments you are blessed with, life gets more liveable. Sure, you must have a truck load of I-can't-bare-this-cruelty moments up your sleeve but don't magnify them. Shit happens for you to look for a reason to understand the gravity of life. The concept of this so-called journey is that its made out of your choices and some random stuff. Study how you make them and take lessons for future reference. Your changing perspective on moments and their meanings (/never-ending revelations) will give you a hard time on determining the lessons. All you need to do is to take a look at your actions and their consequences. You'll know better next time. 

Now, make the choice to press the button for some ice-cold champagne. Have your moment of self-indulgence. Enjoy your guilty little pleasure of a moment and sip your champagne (can be taken both literal and metaphorical). 

Try again. Fail better. 

  

Keep Calm and Keep Walking

You have to move on. Keep walking. 

You'll get your hopes up, wander around an idea long enough to idealise it. 

Next, you'll get crashed. Your hopes, expectations, dreams, .. all of them at once. 

It's only normal to find yourself carrying the crown of all-things dramatic. 

Then, you need to snap out of it. Pick yourself up and keep walking.

Drama can't catch you if you don't stop and wait. 

You're Entirely Bonkers

I am Alice and this is Wonderland! We are all mad here. All the best people are.

We try to believe in as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast.

Some of us believe in magic. She'd say "Those who do not believe in magic, will never find it.". She shares her peace of mind and loves to talk about her train of thought. She acts like summer and walks like rain. She is witty and she plays the game way too well. She can charm you as well as she can harm you. She is absolutely fascinated with the life in and out of itself. She might even enjoy a little drama, keeps thinking to herself every cloud has a silver lining. 

Some of us could warm your heart with just a look but she would triumph that over with her belief in love and life. Her giving heart and skills of sharing sunshine would mesmerise you. She is a romantic artsy in love with nostalgia. Her exquisite taste and phenomenal perspective would open doors to a whole another magic land. She may be delicate but she puts herself up and dusts herself off each and every time she falls because she believes that for every dark night, there's a brighter day. 

Some of us are super loveable and has a certain je ne sais quoi. She is full of life, lusting for adventure. Always has big dreams and a huge heart to fit them in. She is the most basic definition of fun and heartfelt but she is sensitive, like a delicate flower. She is constantly one step away from bursting into cheers or tears, living the life on edges. With her kind heart and childish soul, she is a star. 

Some of us are smart skeptics, constantly in war with herself. Logic and reason drives her while her can-do attitude inspires you. She is sharp in every sense, her tongue though stands out. She finds taste in life by sharing and caring. She is addicted to perfection, thus, she is always equipped to fix dramatic situations. She is a drama queen herself and ironically she knows it. Her big heart swallows you in once she opens it to you. 

      

Some of us are new but old school rebellions. She is mindful of her energy and trying to keep the equilibrium, like the rest of us. Her resilience shows in her jokes, by jokes I mean the sarcastic comments. We are yet to know her better, enjoying the ride together. 

There are different combination and permutations of how we fit in together. But since, neither of us gives a shit about fitting in, it's easier. We all know we will never grow up and its a good thing. We'll keep imagining, while our dreams as well as nightmares are coming true. We are all madly resilient because we know we cannot change the cards we're dealt with, just how we play the hand. 

Logic and Wisdom

Logic only takes you so far. It's basically impossible not to build expectations but the mechanism behind that ever working wheel fails to assess its surroundings thoroughly. It's a pretty slow learner, one might say. 

You learn math and start quantifying your world in way of making sense. But two plus two does not equal to four in life because the first <2> is apples and the second is oranges. You fail to realise that not the quantity but the quality of things define their value in life. 

Simultaneously, you learn worth and value are two different things, latter one being less subject to change by time. 

Last but not least, you learn the most basic rule; there is no free lunch. It may be apples or oranges, there may be 4 of them or more of them but there is only one absolute truth; you have to pay for them.

What philosophy brings to the table is wisdom, to be more precise, theories of justification on the matters of reality, values, reason and existence. Wisdom is a uniquely formed virtue. Wisdom gives you the ability to think and more importantly act using your theories drawn from your experiences, thus, your justifications. 

Wisdom is both relative and absolute. Wisdom requires calculation of the possible outcomes and suggestion of the optimal action to be taken at any given point. While doing these it finds ground on truth and rational judgement. 

Basically, logic lies at the heart of wisdom with a slight nuance. Wisdom requires learning from experience. Logic doesn't teach you it only shows you. 

Life should be getting slightly more confusing right about now. 

You've gotta get the fundamentals right. Get the basics right and you'll develop from there. So, tiger's intention of eating you is strictly independent from your inclinations but your actions directly effect the outcome. Life may eat you whole if you let it. Your positioning towards life's drama, basically your capability of manoeuvre, will define the outcome. Not your good intensions or wishful thinking. Don't think life is giving you lemons for no logical reason. Life being life is reason enough. It's a tiger and tigers bite. And, it hurts. 

Enough with the analogy. 

Just don't be naive. 

Build your inevitable expectations fairly but know that life won't be fair. When reality shows up knocking on your door for a check, acceptance is the only way out. Let go of your fear, face your demons and come to realise the serenity of acceptance. Then, you'll learn. 

  

When Dark Gets Darker

I've got words to say. I can't keep them inside. I've wanna scream at the top of my lungs. Life needs to hear this. 

My words won't be pretty. To be fair, I can be mean when I wanna be. And, mean doesn't even begin to describe how I am feeling. I feel like an ancient dooms day mythology full of wrath and destruction. 

To keep calm

Chin Up Princess, If Not The Crown Falls!

Attitude is what will define you. 

When anything that could go wrong, really goes wrong, you've gotta hold your ground. Your attitude towards life's drama is what makes you real. A self-aware woman quite naturally analyses her situation and expects certain outcomes - some of which are bitter - on an ongoing basis. And, when the inevitable drama takes place, her true colours are revealed. 

You cannot put the drama queen tiara and let things burn. You've gotta hold your shit together. You've gotta 'man up!'. Own your responsibility, embrace the pain and the failure. Know that it's gonna pass in a little while. 
Take a deep breath and look at past data. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out its not the first drama of your life nor will be the last one. 
You'll live. 

The pain and suffering feel so real because they belong to that moment. All things feel real when you're in the moment and feels like infinity at the same time. 
But it lasts only as long as the echo of that very moment. 
No way near infinity. 
So, when the ache feels like never-ending, remember one of the fading away glories and calculate retrospectively.It will be over soon and you'll survive. 

Your perspective on things are ever evolving. Your judgement, though, is heavily affected by your subconscious. It takes a while to adjust to drama. Sleep on it. But don't go to sleep feeling defeated. 

Put your chin up. 

Heavy hangs the head that wears the crown.   

Fear - False Evidence Appearing Real

To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is basically the summary of my life. Hence, the explanation of my erratic / desperate behaviour.

Fear terrorises you, numbs you and sucks the life out of you.

It's just a cruel joke that our belief systems are formed as a reflection of the society. We experience life and pay the price in absolute solitude. Yet, our perception of reality is shaped by the surrounding souls around us. We get blinded by our expectations which are put in our minds as a result of the encounters with these souls. We bomb into reality and the whole world comes crashing down with disappointment. But that one is a solo ride. 

You will not be lonely if you like the person you are alone with. So, you'd better start getting to know and love yourself. Don't be afraid to take a decision and make a mistake. Take responsibility when you fuck up and face consequences knowing that you've ended up here as a result of your own choices. Defeat is not the worst failure. Not having tried is way worse. Not learning anything out of a failure is the worst. Forgive yourself if and only if you learn something from your failures. Embrace life's shortcomings and move on. Don't get stuck on setbacks and stop thinking how tired you're. Keep moving on. Life can't catch you unless you stop and wait and ponder. Basically, don't give a shit to life's drama.  

Fear of disappointment and fear of failure will overshadow all your decisions. Don't let that monster eat you alive. Anything that can go wrong will probably go wrong no matter how much you fear from it. Your worst nightmares may come true. So what? You are the one who is going to orchestrate the show. Set the pace yourself. Stop caring so much. Don't give a shit.

A Moment Of Clarity..

The moment of crystal clear disappointment, that moment of clarity, will hurt like a bitch! It's worst than that psycho basket case Joker in Batman. It's relentless. It will never leave you alone. You won't be able to ignore it. It will spoil all your make-believe moments. It will burn you inside out. Your whole world will come shuttering down. You can never go back to that blissful state of ignorance. It will haunt you down in your dreams, if need be. That ache in your chest burning and turning, the one that's tormenting you eventually will take you over and you will come to your senses. This is called the repercussions of a reality check. In that moment of clarity, you balance your expectations with the reality and it slowly sinks in.

A mixture of intense feelings, mostly disappointment and regret, rush through your veins. It's really horrifying to watch your world dissolve into meaningless pieces. Being disappointed in your own self makes you miserable. Realising that you have made the same mistakes over and over again just out of fear, makes you wonder whether you have a learning disorder or you're just doomed to be like this. - as if its an ancient curse from the fairy tales.

Feeling extremely disappointed and discouraged to start over will keep you from moving on. Formalising an exit strategy from this hell point will appear impossible. But simultaneously you'll know that anything is possible since during that moment of clarity you've realised you have been living an illusion. How could you be so detached from the reality, you'd wonder. Then, you'll remember that you've been to this hell before. Even so that, you can draw a map leading there. This, my friend, is that old feeling of resentment towards your self slowly sinking in. Being so familiar with the pain and the bursting tears will give you no advantage if you lose yourself. Apparently, practice in self-induced disappointment doesn't make you perfect at recovering from it. If you give in, it will only further hurt you. You can literally feel the physical pain of disappointment in that moment of clarity. But, thou shall not give in! Try to remain calm and see the irony of the situation.

Remember, the concept of life is drawn from the definition of sarcasm.

It's sharp so it will cut you deep.

It's bitter so it will turn you bitter.

It's cruel so it will judge you harsh.

Sarcasm is a form of art and life is the ultimate artist. The shitty part is life's a solo act. You grieve in solitude while life is playing those nasty jokes on you. Is it really a good joke when you heard a million versions of it? That's up for debate but you've gotta give the credits where credit is due. Accept the fact that life has beaten you down this round. And, you have to be a bigger bitch to beat a bitch.

No one can help you if you don't help yourself.

So, you'd better pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start working on your recovery.

Let The Summer Begin o zaman!

Get together

Get high together

Dance together

Dance high together

Do it all over again all together!

It's the end of an era, you know..

How Did We End Up Here?

Call it the million dollar question, call it the motto of the year, call it whatever.. It just fits the situation so well. Seriously, how did we end up here?

Smart girls from smart private schools, confident over-achievers, somewhat excentrics.. We ended up thinking to ourselves "how did we end up here?".

We don't particularly love our jobs. Realities of business life certainly didn't live up to our sky-high expectations. We constantly worry about our careers. Personally, I have long lost my motivation.

Don't even let me start on the love drama. 

When work takes %80 of your time and energy, you tend to find yourself trapped. Thank god, we come together every now and then and laugh a little, relax. 

What seems to be so puzzling is that we talk things over, analyze and draw a roadmap but we are surprised each and every time we end up somewhere completely different.

  

How To Survive Your 20s

F*R*I*E*N*D*S: Just accept the fact that, you will not survive your 20s without your support circle.

Having a night out with the girls usually involves; countless shots of Jäger, crazy dancing on sky-high stilettos and playing cruel jokes on boys who hit on you at the bar and thats all OK. Just remember to take an alka-seltzer before you go to sleep.

Girl talk is what you need on a Sunday night.

Get wasted only when surrounded with close friends.

R*O*M*A*N*C*E: Boys will be boys.

Don't listen to what men say. Don't listen to your heart either. Both would say anything to get what they want.

If a boy is reluctant to call you, care for you, learn more about you a.k.a put a freaking label on your relationship, DO NOT stick around. Stop kidding yourself and stop making excuses. Grey doesn't exist in love, its either black or white but never grey.

C*A*R*E*E*R: Get over yourself.

"Choose a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life."

Confucious is the biggest liar of all times.

Work fucking hard and learn from your mistakes.

Feel bad when you fuck up but know that kids in Africa are not dying because you were 5 minutes late to a meeting. 

When you have free time at work, spend it on TED.com not on Facebook.

L*I*F*E: To be precise, life sucks.

Life is complicated. So, laugh at all times. It's good for the soul.

Travel..you must travel frequently and preferably to far far away lands. Getting lost will help you find yourself.

Let Me Go Get An Umbrella !

Hoping for sunshine, expecting rain

Let me go get an umbrella then!

Virtue is such a high ranking word. It has class and it has power. It has gravity. Patience is a virtue. It's easier said than done though. 

I for one am super inconsistent with the concept of patience. I sort of suck at it over all but there are rare moments in which I gracefully carry out the enactment of this particular virtue.

The key is not to panic when you realise you've already lost it. 

Try to hold back the grips. And wait for the next moment that you need to be patient.

It'll come in no time, pal. 

One might fail to do so hence end up heating up the situation. 

When you find yourself there, just go get an umbrella.

   

Up Kafası

Rengarenk balonlarla gökyüzüne yükselmek.. Up kafası.. Ne kadar da pozitif, ne kadar da iç açıcı.. Up kafası işte.

.Jumping into conclusions.

Bugün ne kadar da jugdemental olduğumu yüksek sesle söylemek de iyi bir adımdı. Kafamın nasıl çalıştığını dışarıdan 3. bir şahıs gibi izlemek thrilling ama fail ettiğini görüp önlemek için çok geç olduğunu da bilmek garip bir çaresizlik hissi yaratıyor. 

Bir veriyi analiz edip, daha önceden çözümlenmiş denklemlerin içine sığdırmaya çalışırken de aceleci olan algıma sağlık bir günüm bir günümü tutmuyor; dalgalanma konusunda IMKB ile kapışıyorum ve ironically kazanıyorum.

.Mendilin 4 ucu.

Mendilin 4 ucu bir araya gelmiyor arkadaş. Bunu kabullenince hayat da kabullenilebilir oluyor. 

Durup bir nefes aldıktan sonra stratejik düşünmek lazım. Kazananı olmayacak şavaşlara girmemeyi hatırlamak lazım zaman zaman. 

Yine de, şöyle bir arkana bakıp gördüğün şeyden memnun olmak güzel bir his. Seni arkana dönüp baktıran ne olursa olsun.

.Uncharted territories yet, known waters.

Do you know what happens to the boy who suddenly got everything he ever wanted?

He might have lived happily ever after or he might have failed to handle the pressure and shot himself.

Çalıştığın yerden çıkan sorularda nasıl kendine güvenle karalıyorsan kağıdı, bilmediğin yerden gelen soruda da bir o kadar arada kalıyor insan. Hani gözlerini kısıp soruya uzun uzun bir bakarsın ama "yok, çıkaramayacağım ben seni nereden tanıdığımı" der yenilgiyi kabul edersin ya. Tam o kabullenişin hemen öncesi bu bahsettiğim.